Replying to Should I Become His Second Wife?

If these two didn't commit adultery, then I don't think a fatwa regarding adultery is applicable here- even though I think their relationship sounds very inappropriate and I totally agree with Bubbly's post. I don't like the way any of this situation sounds. Where is your family in all of this? Who is your wali (male guardian) and what is his view? You cannot get married without the consent of a wali so his input is vital.

I get the strong impression that you've let your emotions override better judgement. The guy didn't get what he wanted in life as far as he's told you because he says his family imposed this first wife on him so he may feel he's lacking that emotional connection and companionship with a woman (I get the impression you're a respectable sister so this probably is not about sex or lust for you but that doesn't mean forming this sort of connection is okay either)- so he's trying to get that from you. You're not his wife, he shouldn't be looking to...

They committed zina, then they repented and got married, but she is sure that they will be punished and their children will be deformed

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I have a friend who got to know a man 6 years ago. Praise be to Allaah, they have got married, but before that they committed zina. My friend deeply regrets what she did, she weeps night and day and offers all the prayers and prays for forgiveness every day. After getting married, they went for ‘Umrah and they intend to do Hajj, but her husband wants children and she is afraid that she will produce a deformed child as a punishment from Allaah. She says that the one who commits zina will be punished in this world and in the Hereafter even if he or she repents. Is this true? Will they go to Hell?.
Praise be to Allaah.
We praise Allaah for having enabled them to repent, and we ask Him to reward them and make them steadfast. Undoubtedly the immoral actions that t...

As salamualikum ,

My dearest guest,

Its really sweet of you for the way you think Alhamdulillah ... but sis remember things are not as they seem they can be or would be ... so please think genuinely and seek Allah's counsel (isteykhara ) and come to any conclusion ... inshaAllah May what ever happen after that is for your khayr ameen

well the sisters above have already kept an insight of what all you can think of inshaAllah ... so it would be good if you calculate all those points in ur mind and come to an conclusion .

And i dont think age is of any matter when it comes to marriages sis ... coz Allah (swt) knows the best what is the time and age to get married inshaAllah ...
its not about being younger or olde...

salam,
just a thought - if you start a marriage with the wrong footing or the wrong foundations - how much baraqah would be in the marriage?
and you say he is kind and fair - does his wife know about you? if she doesn't - is that fair on her?
and does he want you to be his second wife? have you talked to him about it? i can imagine it would be quite hard to have two wives and treat them fairly especially if one was an arranged marriage and the other was a chick he wanted to marry - of course he would prefer the one he wanted to marry over the arranged one. which would make it heaps harder on him. do you want to put him in that position?
and emotions can blind a person - you guys might think you guys are perfect for eachother and you guys would be happy bla bla bla. but you dont know for sure it would work... it might go all sweet for a bit and then crumble. but like the brother said, put your emotions aside and do istikhara.and talk to him about it. if he d...

I realize you're right in what you say but I guess I should clarify that he told he was married a few months after we met. So its been about a year and half that I've known. We've never been in any kind of relationship before except for friendship. We've never met up or hung out or done anything haram. Just text, phone calls, skype etc, about life, family, school. It's never about love or a relationship. He's never told me he loves me. And I've never told him either. He knows how I feel though as of recently and I know how he feels. He doesn't live with his wife, she lives over seas. He rarely sees her. It was an arranged marriage for her as well. Its not a matter of standing up to anyone, its more a matter of "should I accept to be a second wife" even though we both feel we're right for each other. We openly talk about his wife, its not a matter of being uncomfortable. She is also from a country, city, and family that is open to multiple wives. He doesn't feel resentment to...

Wasalam sis, in Islam Allah gave you permission so you can marry him but remember that he committed emotional adultery with his first wife by speaking, flirting, interacting with you. Can you really trust him? He even cheated on you and lied to you by not telling you he was married. He can easily cheat not just with another girl but on a whole range of other matters. Does he even want to marry you in the first place? I dont think he does, I think he was just having fun, playing around and now that he told you he's married he's had enough of you? What do you think? Maybe he's a real pious brother who was forced to get married and had a whole sob story to go with it and he's really a poor nice innocent guy...but it doesnt look like it. He really should have not married his wife if he wasnt happy, if he cant stand up against his parents do you really think he can stand up against them now and marry two wives? I know this doesn't help but umm...I feel really sorry for his first wife. Im...

Abu Muhammad, on 03 February 2012 - 10:30 AM, said:

Make Istikhara.