GirlCrush and confession
Posted 05 September 2011 - 06:44 AM
From the start till the end satan always tries to get hold of the believer. But don't worry he is ever a loser. It was satan who made you free mix by the Will of Al-Mighty Allah. Then it was satan who developed those crushy feelings in you by the Will of Allah. Then it was satan who caused jealousy(you had a good will but as evry1 said u cud have warned her first) in you by the Will of Allah. And now you have become a better salve due to ur past and that is all that matters. But beware, don't let her thoughts linger in ur mind. Forget her and stop thinking about her. Don't let satan get you distracted (by the Will of Allah), those are just evil waswas that you shud avoid, something u'll get nothing out of. Alhumdulilah i think you are stronger now. Make lots of duas.
Sorry for writing "by the Will of Allah" again and again; just to stress that satan has no power to do anything and its only Allah who guides and misguides.
oh well, Assalamualaikum brother.
Posted 05 September 2011 - 10:51 PM
SubhanAllah what an interesting story
i feel like laughing altho lol looks like u had some kind of movies effect on the time when u sent an mail to the girls house .... out of pure jealousy hidden in good intentions and u thought that the girl would come and her her feelings with u and u can be close to her ... khayr Allahu alim ... thats what i think totally u justified it brother .... look what u did was wrong brother and i dont think u should even let it out that u did such a thing .... coz ur guilt is the only reason that u have become closer to Allah .... may Allah guide u ameen ....
khayr forget the girl and all it just have a part to play in ur life and Alhumdulillah it did so ... go ahead and move on in life ... past is past u cant change it ... present of urs is better alhumdulillah live it ... and future take a lesson and try to be in ur minds and think before u do anything .... khayr if Allah wants to conceal ur sin he will inshaAllah ... but i do feel bad about that girl but may be that was her way to get better thats y the things happend khayr Allahu alim ....
"Unlawful desires are usually associated with ugliness. They leave behind a lingering sensation of pain and guilt. Struggling your way through obedience is not an easy task. It is, however, associated with goodness and soothing pleasures."
- Imaam Ibn al-Qayyim
so now u dont need any more suggestions ... i think u have already got an biggest lesson of ur life and remember " RasoolAllah(saw) told that he has not left behind any more grater fitnah for men then womens"
and here ur prove it .... ur crush or what u thought and as to how u behaved ...
At least now understand that Shaytan is still behind u ... forget what has passed look up for a new light ... inshaAllah ... sometimes things are not like u think they will be like ... people are never the same neither the things that they do , they hide and the gratest fear that lies in them is that who will know ... when someone already knows all that u try to be and do strive hard to be what u are be open,free and frank with life ... know the point where u feel scared or guilt and leave it .... and always remember Astagfirullah and be away and start controling ur heart ... coz that is the place which goes blind and start getting effected .... khayr Allahu alim .....
the moment u tell someone ur crush remember its ofcourse gonna crush ur heart and u so y even tell someone crush ... just tell u liked them and coz they where not in ur Qadr they have there own destiny to walk on play there role be happy and shade some tears and make a sincere dua for them and cool down ur heart inshaAllah... remember things always happen as they are written and willed trust in ur self and be good on ur side fullfil ur obligations and perform ur volunteer acts .... inshaAllah
khayr may Allah help ever person to get over there likeliness and move on in life ameen
may i ask y did u choose to keep ur name magetron ? haha i reemember one of my cartoons that i would watch TRANSFORMERS
if i remember something more that i can collect reading the whole thread later inshaAllah i will tell u
have a bright and beautiful future ahead ameen
just and advise,
from an sis of ummah,
Haha its okay to laugh. Although this was one of the toughest things I have dealt with, there are a few things trivial about this matter. It was childish nonetheless. Megatron was something I just picked randomly from my "username bank", nothing special.
I cannot say I have totally forgot about this girl, but I have definitely made improvements of this matter. A lot of it had to do with being productive and preaching more Islam in my life. Simply time and more prayers will help me overcome this completely.
I just remember posting this in a lot of forums and I didnt imagine up until that point how much it would hurt when people could not give me good advice and simply bashed on me. It hurt ALOT. I did value the few people's advice they gave me as I took what I can get, as I value your input alot as well.
I figured instead of sending ruthless mails to their house, I figured maybe Allah (swt) wants me to pray for her well being and her Imaan instead. This would be a true test of faith. I dont know how she is doing or what her habits have been ever since, but I pray that she will be better insha'Allah from here on out. I am sure eventually I will find out about this someday. Even though this girl and I live very close, I still dont know exactly how she is doing. I say hello to her parents and siblings as I see them around them neighborhood and mosque quite a bit.
Until this day, I cannot figure out why she had a falling out with me. Like I said, I HIGHLY DOUBT she knew I even sent those pictures to her house. So I wonder why she had a mental breakdown with me that time at the grocery store or why she did not want to talk to me anymore? As hard as it is to accept for why this all went down, perhaps it was Allah's (swt) way of telling me that me and her are not meant to be together. I have to keep reminding myself of this. At the same time, I dont know what to expect in the near future insha'Allah. I think about a few things:
- What to do in the future if she approaches me?
- Will she ever come up to me and tell me why she had a falling out?
- Will she try to be friends with me again one day (although I know different gender relationships do not exist in Islam)?
I can remember the time when this incident actually took place. I was miserable. It ate me up alive deep down inside. I had mood changes, did not want to meet people, and simply destroyed my focus (pursuing careers and studying). I guess this may be a strong reason never to go back to this girl, even if I was given the chance. This girl put me through hell, although she has no idea which is the strange part of all this.
As I look back on this, the reason I fell for this girl because she possessed alot of qualities that many other girls did not have, as it struck me. She was not the prettiest girl in the world by any means but she looked a little more than decent to me and she made up for that with other qualities. She had the friendliest tone in the world when you talked to her. Her words always made you feel good about yourself and gave you the feeling that everything will be okay. I could talk to her about anything in the world as she was a very open-minded and forgiving girl. Any kind of conversation with her took place as you can talk about politics, family matters, religion, humor. But somewhere down the road I discovered some really bad qualities about her which completely ticked me off and hurt me deep inside. Although these bad qualities of her tore me apart, I had a hard time accepting it and was trying to find a balance of her goods and bads. I still have trouble to a smaller extent until this day trying to establish a balance her, but I have learned to deal and have moved on for the most part.
Now I simply go on about my life and business. As I mentioned that I still think about it every now and then, but it does not control my life anymore nor has the matter taken over things like it did before. I have learned to cope with it for the most part and feel like I have grown stronger from it.
Anymore thoughts or words of advice is always appreciated here. Thanks...
Posted 05 September 2011 - 11:03 PM
Thanks for the lookout. I remember which forum I saw you in ( I dont want to say on here), but if I remember clearly your words were actually constructive unlike most people who had nothing nice to say. You were blunt somwhat but in a good way of course.
I appreciate your words and good to hear from you as well, Alhumdilliah.
Posted 06 September 2011 - 05:56 PM
Preserving the Honor of the Muslim
One day Hazrat Umar (ra) left his home with Abdullah bin Masud (ra) and during the late hours of the night, they saw the glow of a fire burning at a distance. They followed the light until it led them to a home with a burning lamp. Upon seeing the lamp, Hazrat Umar (ra) entered the house and saw an old man sitting with alcohol in front of him and a female singer entertaining him. The old man was caught off-guard by Hazrat Umar's (ra) sudden attack when he said to him, "I have not seen a sight more shameful than what I have witnessed tonight from an old man who should be awaiting death.
The old man responded, "Indeed, O Leader of the Believers, what you have done is more shameful. You have entered my house without my permission and spied on me – and is not spying forbidden in Islam?" Hazrat Umar (ra) admitted to the truth of his statement and left the old man's house, biting his garment and crying as he said, "May the mother of Umar lose him if Allah does not forgive me
Thereafter, the old man stopped attending the gatherings of Hazrat Umar (ra). After some time passed, Hazrat Umar (ra) saw the old man in one of the last rows of his gathering and wished to speak with him. Fearing harshness from Hazrat Umar (ra) the old man approached him cautiously, being asked to come closer and closer until he was finally seated near the Leader of the Believers. Hazrat Umar (ra) asked to have his ear next to his mouth and said, "By the One Who has sent Prophet Muhammad (saw) with the truth, I have not informed anyone of what I saw of you that night, nor have I informed Abdullah bin Masud for indeed he was with me." The old man replied, "O Leader of the Believers! By the One Who has sent Prophet Muhammad (saw) with the truth, I too have not returned to those evil actions since the night you entered upon me." Hazrat Umar (ra) uttered out loud, "Allah hu Akbar!" yet no one from the gathering knew what had occurred between the two men.
there are so many lessons to learn from it brother ... and the tool facebook was used by both of u as and bad tool ... and u sent the weapon(bomb) in the form of mail to the sisters house .... well may be it was for her good altho ... inshaAllah ... and rememeber do not spy and enter anyones privecy ... see umar (ra) forgot that and just entered but he repented ... and also hid the sin of the old man subhanAllah ... i think u can take a lesson from this inshaAllah if not then u can surly tell i will try to relate ur story and this isnhaAllah and point out somethings only if u like ....
and now for ur first Question.
what to do in case in future is she approaches u ?
in case if she even approaches u do not talk to her freely just tell salaam and ask her welfare and thats it ... and move away ...inshaAllah
and in case if ur planning to get married to her now also i suggest that u do not get married to this particular sister khayr Allahu Alim coz u know u already got so much jealous of the sister in past and did such an act that was out really bad ... even if in future if the sis is truthful to ur and her relationship there are many a chances that u may not trust her ... Allahu alim and u may behave in a rude way coz this may take effect on ur imagination and shaitan will easily get over ur and her relationship... Allahu alim ...
remember one thing brother this is an known fact that ... "ONCE THE TRUST IS BROKEN THINGS WILL NEVER BE SAME" and also there are the chances of doubts and simple jokes can also change to poison at that time ... khayr there may be many more thing which make look ease for an normal persons eyes but cant look same to the person whos mind is poisoned ... khayr ALLAHU ALIM .. coz in case if she is in ur Qadr ofc u cant deny it but if its ur choice do istakhara ... inshaAllah thats what i think and can suggest u genuinely
and Allahu alim
Will she ever come up to me and tell me why she had a falling out?
No brother she is not gonna come up to u and tell y is she feeling sooo bad ... Allahu alim ... and do not even expect that ... how noobish of u brother how can u expect someone to just walk in and tell u her feelings as to y she is feeling down and bad ? do u just go to some strangers and speak ur freaked mind thoughts ? no than .... then how can u expect this from her ???? so practical ???? and also the other reason can be she may grow more in iman inshaAlah
and Allahu alim
Will she try to be friends with me again one day (although I know different gender relationships do not exist in Islam)?
when u already know this answer ... y do u even expect brother ???? i dont get it ... just leave it ... just forget it ... there is no need for u to be her friend or whatever ... its just crap stuff ... inshaAllah u will get someone more better then her and u dont really need her friendship when u have already got Allah on ur side inshaAllah and think about ur hoor-al-ayns they will be more better inshaAllah y even do u need to long for one on the dunya ... when u have so many hoor's if u be close to Allah ? and folo him and the sunnah of RasoolAllah(saw) inshaAllah u will be fine ...
just think u did so much bad in her life .... and u still expect good out of it ... will u even be able to face the sister after doing a disaster in her life ? and giving her so much pain ... each time she will feel her pain u will be hurt brother ... just leave her alone and make dua for her brother ... and just let the sis live her own life inshaAllah ...
May Allah easy ur and hers pain's ameen
and May the best happen with u both in future ameen ...
khayr Allahu Alim..
this is what i think.
with an suggestion ,
Ghazala(A sis from ummah).
Edited by ghazala, 06 September 2011 - 05:57 PM.
Posted 19 September 2011 - 08:34 AM
we dont at all know the view of that sis ... so we should not tell how is she and all ... khayr Allahu alim ...
May Allah forgive her sins and make her a better person ameen .... and bless her with a good life in future ameen ....
Sis i know ur intentions are good altho ... but just coz ur my sis too im telling u dont feel that im taking someones side or something
i love u fillah ...
May Allah bless u in abdunce for thinking of this bro and giving ur sincerest and purest advice ... ameen
i really appreciate it sis
Reply to this topic
1 user(s) are reading this topic
0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users