12 replies to this topic

[Jupiter]

[gr8]

Come and rise dear brother of mine
Advance to the light, and see the sign

Wake up from your shallow grave
Open your eyes and witness the knave

Their reign has dried the fertile land
They buried the books in the sand

They lead the zealous without respite
And the zealous cried day and night

A question presented to the chameleon
The questions treated as a rebellion

The questioner killed with ink and paper
Condemned and rendered as a traitor

Follow me for this is the truth, they sighed
The boat that rocked and then capsized

A blaze upon it, started years before
The spark that finally came to the fore

And upon its ashes we sit and wait
For the new king to rise and vacillate

And after the storm comes a cloud
Blocking the sun with its white shroud

We pray and hope for it to clear
But it lingers like our deepest fears

A thought of what may have been
A regret of which we now dream

[Kadafi]

Mashallah bro ... beautiful poem, thoroughly enjoyed readin' it - HOF material me thinks !!!

[Jupiter]

Jazakallah Kheyr.

[Yasmin]

i agree with kadafi - good, steady rhythm and rhyme scheme, got a flow 2 it and words are inferred inbetween the couplets - deep- post more inshallah!

[Jupiter]

Converted Post said:

Originally posted by Yasmin

i agree with kadafi - good, steady rhythm and rhyme scheme, got a flow 2 it and words are inferred inbetween the couplets - deep- post more inshallah!

Jazakallah Kheyr.

[~ The Revivor ~]

Wow brother thas heaps mad, great poem bro, good choice of puttin ya here!!!!

[Jupiter]

Converted Post said:

Originally posted by ~ the revivor ~

Wow brother thas heaps mad, great poem bro, good choice of puttin ya here!!!!

Barakallah Fee.

[Jupiter]

~ the revivor ~, on May 22 2006, 07:31 AM, said:

Wow brother thas heaps mad, great poem bro, good choice of puttin ya here!!!!

Jazakallah Khyer.

[livingpeace_jk]

good one bro that is a beautiful poem subhanAllah

[ballin_4_da_deen]

mashallah that was really nice.....

[onedarkangel_uk]

Jupiter, on Mar 14 2006, 02:12 PM, said:

[gr8]
Come and rise dear brother of mine
Advance to the light, and see the sign
Wake up from your shallow grave
Open your eyes and witness the knave
Their reign has dried the fertile land
They buried the books in the sand
They lead the zealous without respite
And the zealous cried day and night
A question presented to the chameleon
The questions treated as a rebellion
The questioner killed with ink and paper
Condemned and rendered as a traitor
Follow me for this is the truth, they sighed
The boat that rocked and then capsized
A blaze upon it, started years before
The spark that finally came to the fore
And upon its ashes we sit and wait
For the new king to rise and vacillate
And after the storm comes a cloud
Blocking the sun with its white shroud
We pray and hope for it to clear
But it lingers like our deepest fears
A thought of what may have been
A regret of which we now dream

Now, this is great poem. Deep and I liked you rhymed the words, but moreso on the message it gives.

One question....."are you living your dream?" i.e. walking the talk your writing? Just a question.

[ishmam]

kadafi - Mashallah bro ... beautiful poem, thoroughly enjoyed readin' it - HOF material me thinks !!!

wats HOF

[Umm Hidayah_88]

Mashallah dats wiked!