This poem was originally posted in the sister's section and is now being moved into the hall of fame. Mabrookations to our dear sis bint al aqsa
A poem written for my mum by me
Quick short info before I start the poem my mum died when I was 14 she died from cancer in the nerve system (brain)
Inna Lillah Wa Inna Illayahi Rajoon
Friday 25th 2005 9pm
I could hear the sheikh reciting Surat Yaseen, and the women around me were crying.
I have never been so confused, but that day you were dying.
My darling My love My Mother
With cancer most people their time is near
But I didn't acknowledge it
So when my father uttered the words "shes gone" there came the hit
The hit I truly didn't expect
Regret though hate anger I was wrecked
So I wrote this poem to reflect
And apologies to Allah (swt) and you
Before I begin my apologies to you I first apologies to the greatest Allah (swt)
For disobeying him when he ordered me to respect my parents for asking him "WHY" instead of saying Alhamdilah" and not uttering the words "inna Lillah wa Inna Illayhi Rajoon" When I heard the news may Allah (swt) forgive me
Now to you ya hayati, ya qalbi ya, nor ayni
Sorry for all the times I shouted at you ignored your orders said no and UFF to you, never appreciating what you done for me, never thanking you for loving me and being there for me, Sorry for not taking care of you when you were ill, not kissing you and hugging you when I got the chance to.
A week before you died you looked at me and said " may Allah (swt) be pleased with you" usually you say that when I do something good, but that day you said it out of random and I didn't know why
But you knew, you knew your time is coming and you didn't want to die angry with me because you knew that Allah (swt) would be too so I thank you for that.
The day you died was a blur I didn't believe it, thought you ust went to sleep and your going to wake up people were just getting confused I didn't Know how to shed a tear I was staring in blank air didn't utter a word
Slept with no tears in my eyes and no words uttered woke up with no tears in my eyes and no words uttered but as soon as I heard their burying you and they're going to wash you, I knew that maybe just maybe if I wash you, you would be proud of you 14 year old daughter and maybe forgive her for some of her mistakes.
Seeing you lifeless but smiling broke me down Walla and Allah is my witness I had no energy in me to stand because of how hard I was crying but for you my life I did it.
Sobhan Allah your mum would sit there everyday in front of you and you will never realise how much of a blessing she is until you lose her....
And then when you lose her you say if only she knew how much I loved her and how much she meant to me and how sorry I am for everything that I did and said and how thankful I am for everything she did...but it's too late
Please Sisters and Brothers take this chance to thank your mum everyday for the slightest things she does kiss her hand every time she cooks you a meal because walla by Allah you will regret the fact u never did that
I've lost something so valuable that you lot still have.... I will never see my mum beside me on my wedding day to wave me good bye and say Allah yarda 3aleeki I will never see her beside me when I'm giving birth. Or my kids have a Granma that they can run too when I'm angry with them...
I would do anything in the world to just kiss her hand and forehead one last time and tell how sorry I am and how much I love her and if I knew if only I knew how much she meant to me then walla I would never do the mistakes I did.
Please sisters take this chance to realise the blessings you lot have the moments that you lot never lost. It may look like right now when your mum says don't go out there or don't wear this she's ruining your fun but when you grow up you will know why, your mum never makes a comment that not beneficial for you.
By Allah I will do my best to make you a proud women and to see you stand high and proud in the day of judgement and you say that's my daughter. I hope you forgive me and I will always remember you in my heart where ever I go.
A sincere advice from your sister in Islam