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Need serious help, am desperate on the verge of breaking down - 7th Century Generation

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Need serious help, am desperate on the verge of breaking down


23 replies to this topic

#1 Guest_Really Confused :(_*

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Posted 01 April 2011 - 11:15 AM

Theres no way for me to approach anyone about this in person, as;

- ive been known as the 'perfect' child in sydney. literally all uncles and aunties know me as being absolutely perfect.
- everyone knows me as super religious
- everyone thinks im smart, and hence trust me heaps

the truth is, i WAS religious. but somehow i got a girlfriend. and last tuesday, things happened. it got out of control, and i did things im not proud of. now im really panicking.

my question is, is it possible to get her pregnant, even if i didnt go in properly? i didnt even break her hymen, i literally touched the edge, and came out again. but ive been reading everywhere that pre-ejaculatory fluids contain sperm as well, and she may get pregnant. to make it worse, she was expecting her period in the next couple of days. so she was highly fertile :S

what are the chances of her getting pregnant? please tell me, im so worried. i have my hsc this year, i cant be a father. im so stupid, i shouldnt have done this.

i am not ready to be a father yet. but hypothetically, if she does get pregnant, what options do i have? i know that abortion is haram, but are there any exceptions?

is there any way to prevent her pregnancy?

please, i need help. and urgently. im on the verge of crashing.

#2 -muslima~

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Posted 01 April 2011 - 12:40 PM

May Allah swt make it easy for you. Ameen.

From what I know, it is possible but highly unlikely to get pregnant in this way. The best and only thing you can do is to repent to Allah swt and make dua for His forgiveness and mercy. Remember that there is nothing that is too big for him to forgive, as long as you ask sincerely.

May Allah swt set right your affairs and protect us all from the whisperings of shaytaan and the evil of our nafs. Ameen.

#3 Abu Muhammad

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Posted 01 April 2011 - 01:11 PM

Make dua' that Allah protects you. He said:

Posted Image
53. Say: "O my Servants who have transgressed against their souls! Despair not of the Mercy of Allah. for Allah forgives all sins: for He is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.
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60. And your Lord says: "Call on Me; I will answer your (Prayer): but those who are too arrogant to serve Me will surely find themselves in Hell - in humiliation!"

#4 Abu Abdul Rahman

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Posted 01 April 2011 - 02:23 PM

Have you considered marrying that girl?

#5 Guest_really confused :(_*

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Posted 01 April 2011 - 02:36 PM

we plan to get married in the 4th year of uni.

we are only 17 now

#6 Abu Muhammad

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Posted 02 April 2011 - 01:45 AM

Fourth year of uni??

If you could not hold yourself now, do you believe you can hold it for another four years? Especially seeing that there is much more fitna in uni?

#7 Abu Abdul Rahman

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Posted 02 April 2011 - 02:58 AM

^^Exactly, I would advise you to seriously consider getting married to that girl.

#8 Guest_really confused :(_*

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Posted 02 April 2011 - 03:21 PM

salam guys

she had her period today alhamdullilah, so im not a father :)

i had a talk with her, we might get married after hsc.

thanks again :)

#9 Guest_advice*_*

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Posted 02 April 2011 - 07:46 PM

Assalamu'alaykum,

- I advise she carries out a pregnancy test, one can still fall pregnant under these circumstances, the commencing of menstruation is not really a good enough confirmation that she is not pregnant.

- You seem very relieved that you are not going to be father of a child but InshaAllaah you are more concerned about Allaah's opinion of you rather than the opinion of uncles and aunties and maintaining your perfect child rep. Before you shoot off thinking 'duh that was a dumb mistake, spur of the moment thing! Its all khayr' you need fear Allaah and take the precautions HE placed there so that you will not fall into such major sin again.

- If you can't marry her now, you better dump her until you can do so - seriously keep your distance, move away from the sources of sin. This isn't a joke. You might have to shed a few tears but nothing is impossible when you ask Allaah to strneghten you and steady your feet.

And thats all I have to say ..May Allaah guide us and protect us from Shaytaans snares. Aameen.

Wa-salaam

#10 Abu Abdul Rahman

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Posted 03 April 2011 - 01:18 AM

^Correct.

Also if it happens to be that she's not pregnant dont forget that it's only by Allah (S.W.T.)'s mercy. If you plan on marrying her next year, I advise to tell that to your parents now so you dont suddenly change your mind and maintain that haraam relationship.

Just a question, is that girl a Muslim?

#11 Abu Muhammad

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Posted 03 April 2011 - 01:28 AM

Quote

- You seem very relieved that you are not going to be father of a child but InshaAllaah you are more concerned about Allaah's opinion of you rather than the opinion of uncles and aunties and maintaining your perfect child rep. Before you shoot off thinking 'duh that was a dumb mistake, spur of the moment thing! Its all khayr' you need fear Allaah and take the precautions HE placed there so that you will not fall into such major sin again.

- If you can't marry her now, you better dump her until you can do so - seriously keep your distance, move away from the sources of sin. This isn't a joke. You might have to shed a few tears but nothing is impossible when you ask Allaah to strneghten you and steady your feet.


:agree:

#12 Guest_really confused :(_*

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Posted 03 April 2011 - 02:09 AM

How is it possible to be pregnant, after expelling her egg :S

Yes, she is Muslim.

My parents know i want to marry her, they just arent aware that we are doing these..things. They think we just talk online thats it. They are fine with me marrying her.

#13 Guest_Wafa_*

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Posted 03 April 2011 - 04:04 AM

You could have at least been careful enough to use protection if you are going to be doing that and from your initial post, you seem to care about your own future and how its trajectory will be affected if your girlfriend got pregnant but tbh, I think she would be the one royally screwed over; not you. If you see yourself as mature enough to have sex then whether you want to see it or not, you also unequivocally accept the responsibility of a possible pregnancy.

As for abortion, dont even think of it. There are no exceptions. I would listen to what someone else said above. If you are serious about marrying her then keep your distance from here. She isnt going any where. It would be terrible to marry someone because you have to for the sake of a child if you would bother doing that even. I know a lot of girls who got knocked up and none of their boyfriends are with them so yea, if you cant handle changing diapers, staying up late, meeting the emotional needs of the baby and your partner then either put on a condom or stay the hell away from that woman.

Out of curiosity, how old are you and what is an hsc?

Edited by Wafa, 03 April 2011 - 04:06 AM.


#14 muslimsistaa

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Posted 03 April 2011 - 04:11 AM

^he said that he was 17 and HSC is High School Certificate. Its like the GCSE- but done in year 12.

#15 Guest_Wafa_*

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Posted 03 April 2011 - 04:21 AM

View Postmuslimsistaa, on 03 April 2011 - 04:11 AM, said:

^he said that he was 17 and HSC is High School Certificate. Its like the GCSE- but done in year 12.


Ohhh so it's a high school diploma! Boy, you better not be making stupid decisions like that again. <_< Way too young to get into this mess, you will regret it. Now watch me get told off for this... -_- but whatever, I am in touch with reality. I doubt very much that you will stay away from that girl, I doubt you would listen to us and I am 75% sure you will try it again. Why? Because you are a careless hormonal teenage boy with sex on his mind and she is a sexy beautiful hormonal girl with sex on her mind. So for the love of god, next time and I sooo bet there will be a next time, you better use protection.

Lets not be naive and assume Muslim kids dont do this and those who do it, learn from their mistakes. Thats thinking a bit too highly of ourselves and its complete BS so next time, you decide to go on an adventure in bedroom, I am so serious when I say this.. you better be freaking prepared!

As for those who says: Sister! How can you say these things? Its zina! You are promoting it.

Really? That kid seems to be more concerned with getting his girlfriend pregnant then over how many years he will spend in hell for fornicating. I advise you to stay the hell away but as I said, I doubt you would do that...please have some commonsense and use protection or dont even bother.

Edited by Wafa, 03 April 2011 - 04:22 AM.





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