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Need serious help, am desperate on the verge of breaking down


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#16 Abu Abdul Rahman

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Posted 03 April 2011 - 04:31 AM

Grow a beard. Girls will find it hard to approach you.

#17 Guest_Wafa_*

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Posted 03 April 2011 - 04:32 AM

View PostAbu Abdul Rahman, on 03 April 2011 - 04:31 AM, said:

Grow a beard. Girls will find it hard to approach you.


lol ^^ I like it. You should do that.

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Posted 03 April 2011 - 02:38 PM

Quote

Grow a beard. Girls will find it hard to approach you.

It should not be assumed the brother in question doesn't have a beard.

View PostWafa, on 03 April 2011 - 04:21 AM, said:

View Postmuslimsistaa, on 03 April 2011 - 04:11 AM, said:

^he said that he was 17 and HSC is High School Certificate. Its like the GCSE- but done in year 12.


Ohhh so it's a high school diploma! Boy, you better not be making stupid decisions like that again. <_< Way too young to get into this mess, you will regret it. Now watch me get told off for this... -_- but whatever, I am in touch with reality. I doubt very much that you will stay away from that girl, I doubt you would listen to us and I am 75% sure you will try it again. Why? Because you are a careless hormonal teenage boy with sex on his mind and she is a sexy beautiful hormonal girl with sex on her mind. So for the love of god, next time and I sooo bet there will be a next time, you better use protection.

Lets not be naive and assume Muslim kids dont do this and those who do it, learn from their mistakes. Thats thinking a bit too highly of ourselves and its complete BS so next time, you decide to go on an adventure in bedroom, I am so serious when I say this.. you better be freaking prepared!

As for those who says: Sister! How can you say these things? Its zina! You are promoting it.

Really? That kid seems to be more concerned with getting his girlfriend pregnant then over how many years he will spend in hell for fornicating. I advise you to stay the hell away but as I said, I doubt you would do that...please have some commonsense and use protection or dont even bother.


Ukhti, advising someone a 'better way' to sin isn't okay. The manifestations of major sins are always always evil with far reaching consequences (may Allaah protect us all, save us from our own foolishness). It is only by the will of Allaah that pregnancies come about or do not regardless of what decisions are made. If the decision was made to commit a major sin but Allaah wanted to trial the sinner in the way of bringing about a child for him to care for then nothing can change that. The best and only advice that should be given here is that he should stay well away from major sin.

It should be assumed the brother does care about the destination of Hell fire, human beings are weak enough to fall into sins even with knowledge of Hell. It is important to never desensitise ourselves from the severity of these deeds by saying such things and assuming the sin will be re-committed.

It is also important to never aid a muslim against the Shaytaan, shaytaan would naturally want the following:

- For the brother to not care about the sin, make excuses for himself and become unrepentant.
- For him to fall into it again and again and probably wants him to die without having repented or even whilst committing the sin itself.

So to the brother I reiterate, Allaah subhan wa ta'ala says 'Do not come close to Zina', to come close is forbidden, then what of the sin itself? How hateful an act, don't delude yourself and do NOT trust your nafs, not for a second.

May Allaah forgive and protect, Ameen.

#19 Guest_brother_*

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Posted 04 April 2011 - 12:49 AM

Assalamualikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuhu

End the haram relationshsip now and wait until you both get married inshAllah next year or whenever. And try to have a sincere intention inshAllah. Be 'religious' again. But don't do it because your uncles or parents think you are religious but do it only for Allah.

#20 ghazala

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Posted 04 April 2011 - 05:06 AM

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very true advice :)

Just now i was reading this anomy thread lol a bro tells grow beard ppl wont get attracted. indeed beard is a sunnah ....
lol i remember there was a anomy question once a bro said he gets attracted to hijabies. lol in somedays i think there will be a anomy post saying i get attracted to bro's with beard .... lol i dont understand what they get attracted to so much lol noob heads ...

#21 ZanjabiLinMYsaLsaBil

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Posted 05 April 2011 - 06:05 PM

Quote

Just now i was reading this anomy thread lol a bro tells grow beard ppl wont get attracted. indeed beard is a sunnah ....
lol i remember there was a anomy question once a bro said he gets attracted to hijabies. lol in somedays i think there will be a anomy post saying i get attracted to bro's with beard .... lol i dont understand what they get attracted to so much lol noob heads ...



i think i know sm1 who will make that postPosted Image

#22 TorqueWar Seeker

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Posted 07 April 2011 - 01:46 AM

My advice to the brother would be to talk to the sister and come to a mutual agreement not to see each other or even be friends until they're ready to get married.

Yes it will be extremely difficult. It will cause a lot of heartache to both, it will throw you off your studies and make it hard to concentrate, but do it!

You'll understand why as you grow older. For now, just forget the why and end it.

Keep your niyyah as such "Oh Allah, I'm cutting off my relationship with this girl for Your sake. I want to avoid haram and avoid your displeasure and so, even though it is so difficult for me to remove myself from this mess, I am going to be strong and I am never ever going to fall into this again. If You see this girl as good for me, then let me marry her when the time comes but help us both to maintain our hayaa until such time. If You see my marrying this girl as bad for me, then remove her far away from me. Help me change and take me close to You."

And then just stay away. Avoid situations where you know she'll be hanging out, take her off your phonebook/IM/FB whatever you young people use to keep in touch these days. Within a few months Insha Allah you'll find things a lot easier.

#23 ghazala

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Posted 08 April 2011 - 04:58 AM

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My dear bro in Islam,

I was just going through some videos and texts ...

so i found out the reason and solution for this and this is from the base .... Alhumdulillah!

Bismillah!

Brother to start with this is the case which arises due to waste of time ..in surah Mu minun we will find this... which is know as Al-Laghw (which means dirty,false,evil vain talk,falsehood and all that Allah has forbiddedn)ayat 2 of al muminun.well at the start of this we need to talk about the evil nafs that every person has by nature this grows when they give a lil wind to the fire ... so the shaytaan starts working on this slowly.

when we start practicing there are many a times when shaytaan starts whispering .... so the start to his is from the time ur alone .... so what it tells is fist it starts to tend you to talk to someone say a girl... then when the convo starts first it can be islamic and then it slowly changes to a lil personal convo .... then this convo starts taking place for desires .... then a lil more until ur ashamed of ur self.....

May Allah guide all the believers ameen

so the start it got was from the time u where being Idle and then comes into account where u see many non practicing and loose dressed sisters ... at the start you would be like telling Astaghfurallah and then as the time passes it looks very common to your eyes coz you get used to it .... so never take this as being light issue .... we need to keep telling ourselves that its no good thing..... and keep reminding our selves that its a matter of Astaghfurallah only....


the third thing that comes into account is that your friends or the people ur surrounded with ... when u see them doing bad stuff ur like its bad tho but u like tell urself that man im good then them i atleast dont do stuff that they do ....then ur convo with the girl increases .... coz u think its light to talk and ur not even aware that ur being pulled to a level where u start turning away from Allah.....

so this is how this whole thing works....

Now the solution for it is ....

Point one : first of all ur suppose to avoid being alone... then if ur having a laptop or comp or any other gadget with u .... let it be exposed to people that is u need to keep it in a place where you see people around ... so that there is a lil scaredness in u .... then know that this will be ur first step to get away from evilness inside u inshaAllah.... this will minimize the eagerness u have of talking will at least reduce inshaAllah...

point2 : ur friends ... dont start being like alone coz ur friend are bad and all .... instead go to a masjid make someone friend close to u who will keep u helping ur islamic work .... and try to keep urself busy with some good deeds inshaAllah.....

point3: you need to start sticking some dua's n reminders near the places where you feel u need to keep them for example .... say its ur computer to be aware that u dont do wrong this take a paper write a dua with meaning and stick it on ur computer side part where the screen is not there for example this dua : Allahu nadhiree, Allahu raaqibee, Allahu shaheedun 'alayya.... meaning Alalh is watching me ,nothing i do is absent from Allah and Allah is a witness over me...

this kind of reminders stick it where you feel ur falling short or can enter in the world of sin ... Astaghfirullah...<br><br>and start sticking this kind of small adhkars on ur mirror, doors and all ... so this will keep u reminded that u are in the constant flow of watch and with angles and Allah watching .....

Now i have two small videos for u inshaAllah hope u find them beneficial and please kindly hear to it with concentration .... u will surly find ur self a way to come out of ur problem ameen ....

And never forget this .... ayat of nisa 106.... And seek forgiveness of Allah, certainly, Allah is Ever often forgiving and most merciful...

recite Astaghfirullah often....

coz there is a hadith that states that " Abu hurairah(ra) I heard Allah's messenger(saw) saying 'By Allah! I seek Allah's forgiveness&nbsp;&nbsp;and turn to him in repentance for more then 70 times a day" (sahih bukhari vol 8 hadith 319)

And Also dont forget your past sins as they help u improve ur present and future inshaAllah..... and never start taking any thing that you do hidden as light coz that the basic start of a major one ..... for example: like say you are text messaging someone and its hidden from ur parents and all..... stop this all ...coz when u start hiding things say you start falling short in ur duties soon .... when something you know that you are doing wrong it is wrong know that and dont think " im an exception and i can do it and all" this the worst part where most of us go wrong..... May Allah protect us ameen ...... and never ever think that " at least im not doing that im better " this is also a worts part .....

And bro the most important thing hide ur sin from everyone no matter how much u feel bad and guilty dont flow in emotions and tell anyone that i have committe such and such sin... and never start thinking that you are an hypocrite and u cant have good image and all .... coz this all are the whispers of ur closest mate of this dunya THE SHAYTAAN .... Always turn to Allah coz his love is 70 times extra then the love of ur mom subhanAllah .... for example .. did u ever see small children crying for something and then moms like no and she scolds ? did u see that ? i guess yes ..... for sometime the child cries and then what he does he again goes to his mom and tell his problem .... see in the same way Make Allah ur best friend and tell him everything and ask for forgiveness ... inshaAllah u will surely start changing and improving ameen.

May Allah forgive me if i have said something wrong and May Allah forgive u and make you and whole ummah a better human being in the present and future ameen.....

here are the videos:

for mobile users: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yks47E_7gVM&feature=player_embedded



for mobile users: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I9C9GiQG4EM&feature=player_embedded





Allahu Alim...


with regard and respect,
Abd Allah,
Ghazala(A sis from ummah).

Edited by ghazala, 08 April 2011 - 05:30 AM.


#24 ghazala

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Posted 14 August 2011 - 09:36 AM

(11:114) And offer prayers perfectly,at the two ends of the day and in some hours of the night(i.e the 5 compulsory prayers). Verily,the good deeds remove the evil deeds(i.e. Small sins). That is a reminder(an advice) for the mindful (those who accept advice).

Hadith related to it: Narrated Ibn Masud(ra) A man kissed a woman and then came to Allahs messenger (saw) and told him of that so this divine inspiration was revealed to the prophet(saw) "And offer prayers perfectly at the two ends of the day, and in some hours of the night i.e.five compulsory prayers. Verily, the good deeds remove the evil deeds(small sins). That is a reminder for the mindful." the man said, " is this instruction for me only ?" the prophet(saw) said, " it is for all those of my followers who encounter a similar situation" (sahih al bukhari vol.6 , hadith 209).




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