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Lies in a marriage - 7th Century Generation

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Lies in a marriage


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#1 Guest_Anonymous_*

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Posted 03 April 2011 - 01:55 AM

My brother recently did his Nikkah/Islamic ceremony with a girl a few weeks ago. The marriage was arranged but he spoke to her on the phone a few times. So the Nikkah has happened but they haven't lived together as husband and wife. That will happen in a year's time.

Anyway, a few days ago his wife tells him that she can't have kids. She said she has known about this for 5 years but her family stopped her from saying anything until the marriage has happened as they were afraid that my brother wouldn’t marry her otherwise.

What does he do? He is torn and devastated. He is a practising muslim and does not want to divorce someone without just cause and bring Allah’s anger on him. But how can his wife and her family withhold such a big issue from him???? Should they not have told him??

What does he do?????

#2 Abu Muhammad

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Posted 03 April 2011 - 02:00 AM

Bump

#3 Guest_Bint-al-aqsa_*

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Posted 03 April 2011 - 02:06 AM

salam aliakum, ofcourse that sis is wrong may alah (Swt) forgive her but thats the part where polgymy comes in sis if he doesnt want to divorce her he can marry another :)



#4 Abu Abdul Rahman

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Posted 03 April 2011 - 02:09 AM

He does have a just cause, this girl lied to him and he has every right to divorce her if he cant afford or emotionally handle a 2nd wife just so he can have kids.

#5 Guest_Wafa_*

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Posted 03 April 2011 - 04:12 AM

I know this sounds half-tushed but I hope your brother doesnt divorce his wife. It is so not right that her family put up this sham but I empathize for that woman. In most Muslim cultures, that woman has a very low chance of getting married and if he divorces her now, that chance would go down even more drastically seeing that now she is a divorcee and her family's lies are out in the open. I am sure she was desperate and with society as it is today in Muslim communities, I can understand why her family lied about this so yes its a just cause to divorce her but step in her shoes and understand that most likely she had a really low chance to get married anyways.Inshallah, may Allah swt make your brother merciful towards her. Tell your brother of the immense amount of reward he would get for showing compassion and forgiveness to her and her family. There are always other option such as, adoption or polygamy.

Edited by Wafa, 03 April 2011 - 04:13 AM.


#6 Skooch

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Posted 03 April 2011 - 04:55 AM

islamically before you get married you should say your faults out to the proposed spouse so everything is clear and he they know what they are getting into..he has the right to divorce, or get married to a second wife.

#7 Salaam

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Posted 03 April 2011 - 06:20 PM

dont divorce her, just get a second wife thats the best solution, divorce is not a solution heere

#8 Skooch

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Posted 03 April 2011 - 09:03 PM

why isnt divorce a solution here? they lied to him, or didnt tell him. he has the right

#9 Abu Muhammad

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Posted 03 April 2011 - 09:05 PM

Because you are not all Mufti's and Marriage is complicated. Marriage and divorce is not something everyone can give fatwa on.

#10 Guest_Wafa_*

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Posted 03 April 2011 - 09:10 PM

View PostSkooch, on 03 April 2011 - 09:03 PM, said:

why isnt divorce a solution here? they lied to him, or didnt tell him. he has the right


It is an option but divorce is something very serious and shouldnt be rushed into with an angry heart.

#11 Guest_ANONYMOUS_*

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Posted 03 April 2011 - 09:14 PM

I am the original poster. Getting a 2nd wife is not easy. His first wife might not want him to. Not everyone wants to have a 2nd wife - even Allah says that only take more than one wife if you can do justice. My brother does not want to have a 2nd wife. In the country we live in, the 2nd wife is not recognised legally - only the first one is.He does not want to punish this girl for telling the truth but why didn't she do it before the marriage? This is an extramely important issue. The only reason we get married.How can he ever trust her again?

#12 Guest_Anonymous_*

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Posted 03 April 2011 - 09:27 PM

Again, the original poster here. I forgot to mention the distress and devastation this has caused in our family. We are all shattered. We feel like the girl's family has defrauded us/cheated us. Are these the qualities of a muslim? My mother can't stop crying - she does not want to ask my brother to divorce her but does she not have the right to see her grand children from her son? I have never seen my father upset - he is such a strong man - even he is like a broken man. As for me, I don't know hoe I can ever respect her again. You have no idea the impact of this on our family. I have advised my brother to divorce her (I know of all the permissible things by Allah, divorce is the least liked” but surely this is a genuine case here. My brother is confused though – not angry at all – just confused.. He says he has made no decision.

#13 Guest_Bint-al-aqsa_*

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Posted 04 April 2011 - 12:02 AM

salam aliakum, put it like this sis marriage without trust will break down sooner or later and she failed with the trust from the first hurdle god forbid what may happen later on thats number one number 2 sis u said ur brother cant have a second wife coz his first wife may not want him to....i dont think she has a choice in this after what shes done but with the fact ur brother cant handle two wives then sis seriesly divorce is only opition ur brother doesnt deserve this neither does ur family........this sister brought this divorce upon her self instead of starting this marriage the halal way she decided to decieve her husbend from day 1.............thats not fair....soo divorce it is sis then maybe at least if she does get married again she will learn not to do that to another brother.

#14 Abu Abdul Rahman

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Posted 04 April 2011 - 12:58 AM

Since she already knows that she's barren, then that probably means she didnt have her periods which means the oviducts are blocking her eggs. Maybe they could try In Vitro Fertilization or IUF etc, though I'm not sure it's halal or not and it could be quite expensive but it's better than divorce.

#15 Abu Abdul Rahman

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Posted 04 April 2011 - 01:01 AM

According to this fatwa, it's permissible but with strict conditions:

http://www.islamqa.com/en/ref/98604

Edited by Abu Abdul Rahman, 04 April 2011 - 01:05 AM.





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