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Getting Married - 7th Century Generation

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Getting Married


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#1 Guest_confused_*

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Posted 21 June 2011 - 03:43 PM

Salam

I wanted to ask here about getting married. Ever since I can recall, I always had the concept of "the one" which would entail for most part, the only one for me.

Now years have gone and I have met people that were interested in me and those that I was interested in and now I am still single, wondering how could there have been a few "ones' that I really wanted to be part of my life and somehow it did not work out that way. So, in my confusion have been doing some reflection to see where I have gone wrong and realizing that some part lies within trying to please my parents in their selection and not having their 'blessing' or trust for my own selection. I want so badly to be able to feel confidence with the one whom should be my spouse but on the other hand, it's not always the one that my parents are pleased with. In the end, it's not just their displeasure but sadness combined with anger that breaks me apart in moving ahead with the one I select. Where does this leave me?

Lost, confused, hurting and a bit hesitant to allow anyone in my heart again.

How do I heal from this? I feel like I have tried so much that to make things work that I almost expect that it wouldn't.

I feel broken.

#2 Mu'mina

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Posted 22 June 2011 - 02:47 AM

*bump*

#3 TorqueWar Seeker

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Posted 22 June 2011 - 03:37 AM

Wa alaikum salam,

Have you spoken to your parents about what you expect?

#4 Guest_confused_*

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Posted 22 June 2011 - 11:03 PM

View PostTorqueWar Seeker, on 22 June 2011 - 03:37 AM, said:

Wa alaikum salam,

Have you spoken to your parents about what you expect?


I have, but apparently they are never confident with my choices.

Ahhhhh, why bother? Just delete this thread....it makes no sense, no one can't really help me if my own parents wouldn't be confident with my decisions and I lack the confidence also. :confused:

#5 ghazala

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Posted 23 June 2011 - 06:50 AM

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My dear brother or sister in islam :),

stop feeling dis hearten with ur made choices in life ... coz Allah know whats the best and what is gonna happen so just say " hasbun Allahi wa niyamal wakil" which means Allah is the solver all the affairs ...

just an advice ...

well i suggest that u must go to ur parents and talk to them with confidence and try to convince them with ur choice ... and do not forget to do ur istakhara :) and if u feel positive after that then u can surly approach ur parents saying that u have done ur istaykhara and u feel positive about it .... khayr Allahu alim .... thats what i think... :)

with regards,
Abd Allah,
Ghazala(A sis from ummah).

#6 Guest_confused_*

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Posted 27 June 2011 - 03:23 AM

View Postghazala, on 23 June 2011 - 06:50 AM, said:

Posted Image
My dear brother or sister in islam :),

stop feeling dis hearten with ur made choices in life ... coz Allah know whats the best and what is gonna happen so just say " hasbun Allahi wa niyamal wakil" which means Allah is the solver all the affairs ...

just an advice ...

well i suggest that u must go to ur parents and talk to them with confidence and try to convince them with ur choice ... and do not forget to do ur istakhara :) and if u feel positive after that then u can surly approach ur parents saying that u have done ur istaykhara and u feel positive about it .... khayr Allahu alim .... thats what i think... :)

with regards,
Abd Allah,
Ghazala(A sis from ummah).


JazaakAllah for your advice and for the dua...I'll try.

#7 the_truth

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Posted 11 July 2011 - 02:25 AM

View Postconfused, on 21 June 2011 - 03:43 PM, said:

Salam

I wanted to ask here about getting married. Ever since I can recall, I always had the concept of "the one" which would entail for most part, the only one for me.

Now years have gone and I have met people that were interested in me and those that I was interested in and now I am still single, wondering how could there have been a few "ones' that I really wanted to be part of my life and somehow it did not work out that way. So, in my confusion have been doing some reflection to see where I have gone wrong and realizing that some part lies within trying to please my parents in their selection and not having their 'blessing' or trust for my own selection. I want so badly to be able to feel confidence with the one whom should be my spouse but on the other hand, it's not always the one that my parents are pleased with. In the end, it's not just their displeasure but sadness combined with anger that breaks me apart in moving ahead with the one I select. Where does this leave me?

Lost, confused, hurting and a bit hesitant to allow anyone in my heart again.

How do I heal from this? I feel like I have tried so much that to make things work that I almost expect that it wouldn't.

I feel broken.



Asalaamu Alaikum, Why did your previous attempts at findig a partner did not work out? Simple = They were NOT destined for you and Allah has someone better in store.

So marry down. Meaning do not look at trivial matters or minor things. Look if you feel attraction. If he has deen and he has a good character. From there if you are unsure then do isthikhara but most of all TRUST in Allah and ask of him to help you. He will never let you down.

So forget the past because they were never meant for you. The one for you is still to come inshallah.

So strive to get closer to Allah and do everything to please him. Make best of your short time for there may not be a tomorrow.

And Allah knows best in all matters

#8 Skooch

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Posted 11 July 2011 - 12:09 PM

may allah make it easy for you

#9 Bara' ibn Maalik

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Posted 11 July 2011 - 02:08 PM

ameen

#10 Naila

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Posted 11 July 2011 - 07:11 PM

dnt wory brother ....i understand ow u feel....it is hard fynding da right partener...whilst compromising wid ur parents decisions.....dnt wory 222 much abwt it.. cuz Allah will fynd da perfect partener 4 u.... just make dua 4 da ryt partener... den jst leave evryfing 2 Allah... he will sort evryfing out 4 u... nd im sure he wont let u dwn :D




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