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Massjid talk


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#1 Guest_needhelp_*

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Posted 11 August 2011 - 06:47 PM

Salamu Alykum,

Ramadan Mubarak to all, firstly.

Secondly, seeking advice regarding the talk by massjid members during and after the iftar (we need to wait until Isha time) Seems like it is a custom for all women to gather and chat about their personal lives and as I am unmarried I don't have any children or husband to speak about, so actually, it's either so what are you doing now or not to speak to you at all? I don't know what to say to these people as I don't like speaking about my personal life. And, I do feel left out as everyone speaks about these topics rather than talking about religion. I don't want to play "ms high and mighty" by not mixing with them because the best people to mix with are the Muslims but more and more I am finding it quite difficult. It's affecting me to the point that I don't like going to the massjid and this is a sad sign.

Advice me please. Thanks in advance.

#2 TorqueWar Seeker

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Posted 12 August 2011 - 05:34 AM

Get hold of a Qur'an, sit by yourself and recite. If there are more sisters who feel left out like you they might move closer to you and you could find something to talk about later on :)

#3 ZanjabiLinMYsaLsaBil

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Posted 12 August 2011 - 11:24 AM

Posted ImageHe who has no one has Allah!

#4 ZanjabiLinMYsaLsaBil

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Posted 12 August 2011 - 11:25 AM

Asslamualaikum wrwb. If the sisters talk about personal life and about people then I would advise you to stay away due to high chances of intentional/unintentional Gheebat. If they talk Islam then it would be good to join into the discussion. 'No talk' is better that 'idle talk' and talking about Islam is better that talking nothing.(time flies when you're having Islamic discussions) Something better would be to do dhikr or read the Quran or
get a book to read out to all the sisters there<------ THAT WUD BE REALLY GOOD :)

Finally don't forget to say "SubhanAllahi wabihamdihi subhanakallah humma wa bi humdika ash haduAllah ilah ha illah anta wa atubu ilayk" when leaving the gathering. Remember sister you are in the worship place, so worship.

Edited by susan19, 12 August 2011 - 11:29 AM.


#5 sarahpatchkids

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Posted 15 August 2011 - 12:00 AM

View Postneedhelp, on 11 August 2011 - 06:47 PM, said:

Salamu Alykum,

Ramadan Mubarak to all, firstly.

Secondly, seeking advice regarding the talk by massjid members during and after the iftar (we need to wait until Isha time) Seems like it is a custom for all women to gather and chat about their personal lives and as I am unmarried I don't have any children or husband to speak about, so actually, it's either so what are you doing now or not to speak to you at all? I don't know what to say to these people as I don't like speaking about my personal life. And, I do feel left out as everyone speaks about these topics rather than talking about religion. I don't want to play "ms high and mighty" by not mixing with them because the best people to mix with are the Muslims but more and more I am finding it quite difficult. It's affecting me to the point that I don't like going to the massjid and this is a sad sign.

Advice me please. Thanks in advance.


It's always good to try to relate to others first and give positive, relative feedback on whatever it is they are discussing in order to initiate further conversation. Being a new mom, I know often conversations between me and other sisters often begin with my daughter, baby developmental milestones, motherhood, how life is sooo different, having more kids, etc. I mean, these talks are not HARAM, and actually they can even be necessary as it can be beneficial and allow for useful tips/feedback. If you can find it in you to seem at least a little interested in these women and their personal lives, then for sure they will be more reluctant to talk to you regardless of whether or not you are married yet or whatever your personal life is like. You can ask them what they think about Islamic schools, home schooling, how they will bring up their kids, how do they manage their time and make room for ibaadah, do they let their kids listen to nasheeds or tilawaah only... idk there are so many ISLAMIC topics to bring up... even amongst women in their everyday chatter...
check out the sisters section here and see for yourself...

#6 Guest_blessed_*

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Posted 15 August 2011 - 08:25 AM

Assalamualaikum

Dear Needhelp,

Talking in a Masjid is NOT ALLOWED in the first place, especially idle talk like what you have mentioned here.
It is even not allowed to read the Quran loudly if it is distacting someone who is praying.

If these women are doing it, then may Allah save them.
Masjid is not a place for this.

Waiting for the next prayer itself is an Ibadah. and many people sit in Itikaf for this.
By what your sisters are doing, I hope they are not earning anger of the Almighty. May Allah forgive them.

So in this case, you are lucky. You are saved from the anger of Allah in going against the Masjid etiquette, and from the fitnah and gheebath that those women may be involved in.

The shaitan whispers to you that my be if you dont talk to them, they will think that you are "ms high and mighty".. and may be they do.. But do you have to care? You are there in the masjid to speak to the Almighty, not to these people. So dont bother.

Itikaf from Maghrib to Isha is a very good and rewarding time. Try to occupy yourself best with any Ibadah that you can do for Allah.
For example, reading Surat ul Mulk in this time guards one against the punishments in the grave. Google it and read more.

I found this on the net for you:

Quote

6- The Muslim should not distract other praying Muslims in the Masjid, because the praying Muslim is in contact with Allah (S.W.T.) so he should not be distracted not even with reciting Qur'an, supplication, or remembrance of Allah. Imam Ahmad reported Abdullah bin Omar (R.A.) narrated that the prophet (S.A.W.) saw some people praying, and they became loud in their prayer. He said: "The praying parson is in contact with his Lord, so let him concentrate on whom he is in contact with, and do not raise your voices over one another with Qur’an."

Raising voices while talking is not allowed while Muslims are praying. Imam Bukhari reported that Assa'eb (R.A.) said: "I was in the Masjid, and a man called me, I turned to him and there was Omar (R.A.). And he said: "Bring me these two men", then I brought them to him. Omar asked: "Where are you from? They replied from the people of At-Ta'ef. He said: "If you were from the people of Al-Madinah, I would have hurt you because you raised your voices in the Masjid of the messenger of Allah (S.A.W.)."

11- The Muslim should keep himself busy supplicating and remembering Allah (S.W.T.) while he is sitting in the Masjid, because he is in the prayer as long as he is waiting for the prayer.

Read more at http://islam1.org/kh...e_of_Masjid.htm



By the way, I am one of those who is of the opinion that Women shouldnt be going to Masjid at all in the first place. It is against the Sunnah.
But that is a different topic and Allah knows best.

I just wanted to clrify that chit chatting in the mosque is not allowed.

May all praise be to Allah.
Assalamualaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu.

#7 The Blessed

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Posted 15 August 2011 - 08:29 AM

Assalamualaikum

Dear Needhelp,

Talking in a Masjid is NOT ALLOWED in the first place, especially idle talk like what you have mentioned here.
It is even not allowed to read the Quran loudly if it is distacting someone who is praying.

If these women are doing it, then may Allah save them.
Masjid is not a place for this.

Waiting for the next prayer itself is an Ibadah. and many people sit in Itikaf for this.
By what your sisters are doing, I hope they are not earning anger of the Almighty. May Allah forgive them.

So in this case, you are lucky. You are saved from the anger of Allah in going against the Masjid etiquette, and from the fitnah and gheebath that those women may be involved in.

The shaitan whispers to you that my be if you dont talk to them, they will think that you are "ms high and mighty".. and may be they do.. But do you have to care? You are there in the masjid to speak to the Almighty, not to these people. So dont bother.

Itikaf from Maghrib to Isha is a very good and rewarding time. Try to occupy yourself best with any Ibadah that you can do for Allah.
For example, reading Surat ul Mulk in this time guards one against the punishments in the grave. Google it and read more.

I found this on the net for you:

Quote

6- The Muslim should not distract other praying Muslims in the Masjid, because the praying Muslim is in contact with Allah (S.W.T.) so he should not be distracted not even with reciting Qur'an, supplication, or remembrance of Allah. Imam Ahmad reported Abdullah bin Omar (R.A.) narrated that the prophet (S.A.W.) saw some people praying, and they became loud in their prayer. He said: "The praying parson is in contact with his Lord, so let him concentrate on whom he is in contact with, and do not raise your voices over one another with Qur’an."

Raising voices while talking is not allowed while Muslims are praying. Imam Bukhari reported that Assa'eb (R.A.) said: "I was in the Masjid, and a man called me, I turned to him and there was Omar (R.A.). And he said: "Bring me these two men", then I brought them to him. Omar asked: "Where are you from? They replied from the people of At-Ta'ef. He said: "If you were from the people of Al-Madinah, I would have hurt you because you raised your voices in the Masjid of the messenger of Allah (S.A.W.)."

11- The Muslim should keep himself busy supplicating and remembering Allah (S.W.T.) while he is sitting in the Masjid, because he is in the prayer as long as he is waiting for the prayer.

Read more at http://islam1.org/kh...e_of_Masjid.htm



By the way, I am one of those who is of the opinion that Women shouldnt be going to Masjid at all in the first place. It is against the Sunnah.
But that is a different topic and Allah knows best.

I just wanted to clrify that chit chatting in the mosque is not allowed.

May all praise be to Allah.
Assalamualaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu.



#8 sarahpatchkids

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Posted 15 August 2011 - 07:08 PM

View PostThe Blessed, on 15 August 2011 - 08:29 AM, said:

Assalamualaikum

Dear Needhelp,

Talking in a Masjid is NOT ALLOWED in the first place, especially idle talk like what you have mentioned here.
It is even not allowed to read the Quran loudly if it is distacting someone who is praying.

If these women are doing it, then may Allah save them.
Masjid is not a place for this.

Waiting for the next prayer itself is an Ibadah. and many people sit in Itikaf for this.
By what your sisters are doing, I hope they are not earning anger of the Almighty. May Allah forgive them.

So in this case, you are lucky. You are saved from the anger of Allah in going against the Masjid etiquette, and from the fitnah and gheebath that those women may be involved in.

The shaitan whispers to you that my be if you dont talk to them, they will think that you are "ms high and mighty".. and may be they do.. But do you have to care? You are there in the masjid to speak to the Almighty, not to these people. So dont bother.

Itikaf from Maghrib to Isha is a very good and rewarding time. Try to occupy yourself best with any Ibadah that you can do for Allah.
For example, reading Surat ul Mulk in this time guards one against the punishments in the grave. Google it and read more.

I found this on the net for you:

Quote

6- The Muslim should not distract other praying Muslims in the Masjid, because the praying Muslim is in contact with Allah (S.W.T.) so he should not be distracted not even with reciting Qur'an, supplication, or remembrance of Allah. Imam Ahmad reported Abdullah bin Omar (R.A.) narrated that the prophet (S.A.W.) saw some people praying, and they became loud in their prayer. He said: "The praying parson is in contact with his Lord, so let him concentrate on whom he is in contact with, and do not raise your voices over one another with Qur'an."

Raising voices while talking is not allowed while Muslims are praying. Imam Bukhari reported that Assa'eb (R.A.) said: "I was in the Masjid, and a man called me, I turned to him and there was Omar (R.A.). And he said: "Bring me these two men", then I brought them to him. Omar asked: "Where are you from? They replied from the people of At-Ta'ef. He said: "If you were from the people of Al-Madinah, I would have hurt you because you raised your voices in the Masjid of the messenger of Allah (S.A.W.)."

11- The Muslim should keep himself busy supplicating and remembering Allah (S.W.T.) while he is sitting in the Masjid, because he is in the prayer as long as he is waiting for the prayer.

Read more at http://islam1.org/kh...e_of_Masjid.htm



By the way, I am one of those who is of the opinion that Women shouldnt be going to Masjid at all in the first place. It is against the Sunnah.
But that is a different topic and Allah knows best.

I just wanted to clrify that chit chatting in the mosque is not allowed.

May all praise be to Allah.
Assalamualaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu.




Brother,

I hope you are a sincere adviser and follower of the Sunnah... because I think you may have forgotten the role of the masjid during the time of the Prophet, salla Allahu alayhi wasallam and even during the time of the rightly guided Caliphs. There was always people in the Masjid; constantly teaching, sharing, worshiping, counseling, having talks/lectures, etc. This is a well known concept...but insha'Allah I will find the proof for this.

And also, women have always attended the Masjid (maybe not in PAKISTAN) but for sure during the time of our our Prophet and his Companions, women prayed behind the men and there are authentic text to prove that.

#9 ghazala

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Posted 16 August 2011 - 12:36 AM

View PostThe Blessed, on 15 August 2011 - 08:29 AM, said:

Assalamualaikum

Dear Needhelp,

Talking in a Masjid is NOT ALLOWED in the first place, especially idle talk like what you have mentioned here.
It is even not allowed to read the Quran loudly if it is distacting someone who is praying.

If these women are doing it, then may Allah save them.
Masjid is not a place for this.

Waiting for the next prayer itself is an Ibadah. and many people sit in Itikaf for this.
By what your sisters are doing, I hope they are not earning anger of the Almighty. May Allah forgive them.

So in this case, you are lucky. You are saved from the anger of Allah in going against the Masjid etiquette, and from the fitnah and gheebath that those women may be involved in.

The shaitan whispers to you that my be if you dont talk to them, they will think that you are "ms high and mighty".. and may be they do.. But do you have to care? You are there in the masjid to speak to the Almighty, not to these people. So dont bother.

Itikaf from Maghrib to Isha is a very good and rewarding time. Try to occupy yourself best with any Ibadah that you can do for Allah.
For example, reading Surat ul Mulk in this time guards one against the punishments in the grave. Google it and read more.

I found this on the net for you:

Quote

6- The Muslim should not distract other praying Muslims in the Masjid, because the praying Muslim is in contact with Allah (S.W.T.) so he should not be distracted not even with reciting Qur'an, supplication, or remembrance of Allah. Imam Ahmad reported Abdullah bin Omar (R.A.) narrated that the prophet (S.A.W.) saw some people praying, and they became loud in their prayer. He said: "The praying parson is in contact with his Lord, so let him concentrate on whom he is in contact with, and do not raise your voices over one another with Qur'an."

Raising voices while talking is not allowed while Muslims are praying. Imam Bukhari reported that Assa'eb (R.A.) said: "I was in the Masjid, and a man called me, I turned to him and there was Omar (R.A.). And he said: "Bring me these two men", then I brought them to him. Omar asked: "Where are you from? They replied from the people of At-Ta'ef. He said: "If you were from the people of Al-Madinah, I would have hurt you because you raised your voices in the Masjid of the messenger of Allah (S.A.W.)."

11- The Muslim should keep himself busy supplicating and remembering Allah (S.W.T.) while he is sitting in the Masjid, because he is in the prayer as long as he is waiting for the prayer.

Read more at http://islam1.org/kh...e_of_Masjid.htm



By the way, I am one of those who is of the opinion that Women shouldnt be going to Masjid at all in the first place. It is against the Sunnah.
But that is a different topic and Allah knows best.

I just wanted to clrify that chit chatting in the mosque is not allowed.

May all praise be to Allah.
Assalamualaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu.




Posted Image


subhanAllah beautiful reply bro and sis susan :) (almost all what i was gonna say or was thinking) Allahu alim Posted Image

brother The Blessed i dont agree with ur statement .... Allahu alim ...

if im not wrong i remember once reading that " UMAR (RA) ONCE SAID THAT IF WOMENS WHERE NOT TO BE ALLOWED FOR GOING TO MASJID BY RASOOLALLAH(SAW) THEN , I WOULD WOULD HAVE SURLY STOPPED ... YOU FROM GOING"

these are not the exact words that he said but the meaning was like this Allahu alim

may Allah forgive me if i have said something wrong ameen ...

well that clearly shows that the woman's are allowed to go to the masjid but they are suppose to take the behind space ... and that is best for them ...

but yeah even i believe that praying of woman's at home is much rewarded ... and its better in many ways ...

coz there are many hadith relating that and showing the importance of woman praying at home (in the corner of house) is good for them .....

khayr Allahu alim ....

just wanted to tell this so did...

with just some point of view,
Abd Allah,
Ghazala(A sis from ummah).




#10 Guest_needhelp_*

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Posted 16 August 2011 - 12:38 AM

Salaamu Alykum,

Thank you so much for your advices. I do love the massjid, my mother used to carry me ever since a little girl.It's just that the way things are now is different with socializing and my own understandings. I used to ask the aunties for advices on being a mother, until the question turned to me on, when are 'you' going to marry and become one. I guess it's my fault, if I was married then wouldn't have problem socializing with them. Please make duas for me to be married to someone who is good for my emaan. At least then i can have something to talk about with the sisters and then probably go recite my Quran or do dhikr whenever the talks become more than it should.

#11 ghazala

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Posted 16 August 2011 - 02:49 AM

ur most welcome sis.

no sis its okay ... as a sister u need to have the knowledge of how to take care of kids and house .... there is nothing wrong in that not at all ... may be u felt bad coz u are enable to find someone for ur self .. inshaAllah dont worry sis. Ramadan his here make loads of dua ...

and remember before time and more then Qadr ... things wont happen and u will not get anything ... everything has a fixed time ...

but yes trying is in ur hand so do make dua and try ur level best to get married as soon as possible... its just ur test inshaAllah ... pass it ... and u can surly pass it inshaAllah...

May Allah bless everyone who is searching for a bride and bride groom with the most loving and pious partners ameen

May Allah give them all best of both the lives ameen

Allahu Alim.

yours sincerely,
Abd Allah,
Ghazala (A sis from ummah).

#12 The Blessed

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Posted 16 August 2011 - 02:25 PM

Assalamualaikum

Thank you Sarahpatchkids and Ghazala for yourfeedback.
And indeed, I missed out to compliment Susan19 for her nice replies.

I apologise if my views 'about women going to Masjid' are offending.
Although I still hold my ground, I too am a man of limited knowledge and I may be wrong as well.
May Allah guide me if I am wrong.

The last thing i want is to drag you all into an argument that has no end.
Surely, this topic has been debated for since ages, by men of better understanding and knowledge than us and till date, there is no clear conclusion.
Lets not fall prey to the time wasting tactic of Shaitan.

I respect what you have said. If you may further want to discuss this issue, lets open a new thread.
Lets stick to the topic here and not deviate from the issues faced by Needhelp.

Coming back to the topic, Sarahpatchkids, the conversations that Needhelp mentioned about, are useless worldly talks.
I dont think you can compare them with the different types of Ibadahs that you have mentioned in your post.

Imagine being in a court of a great king, would you gather your friends into a group and talk about family issues?
Or would you rather try to do something that pleases the king?

And Allah is the King of all mankind and Jinn, Heavens and the Earth and everything in between.
He is all seeing, all hearing and all knowing.

The house of Allah deserves some respect, and if we fail to differentiate it from other places of gathering, we are not doing justice to it. rather to ourselves.
Lets stick to Ibadah in Masjid and do what pleases Allah, the Master of the Universe and beyond.

May all praise be to Allah.
Assalamualaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu.





#13 ZanjabiLinMYsaLsaBil

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Posted 16 August 2011 - 09:02 PM

View Postneedhelp, on 16 August 2011 - 12:38 AM, said:

Salaamu Alykum,

Thank you so much for your advices. I do love the massjid, my mother used to carry me ever since a little girl.It's just that the way things are now is different with socializing and my own understandings. I used to ask the aunties for advices on being a mother, until the question turned to me on, when are 'you' going to marry and become one. I guess it's my fault, if I was married then wouldn't have problem socializing with them. Please make duas for me to be married to someone who is good for my emaan. At least then i can have something to talk about with the sisters and then probably go recite my Quran or do dhikr whenever the talks become more than it should.


Walaikumassalam wrwb. May Allah bless you soon with a pious spouse and kids who would be His closest slaves. Ameen.

#14 ghazala

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Posted 02 October 2011 - 03:05 AM

View PostThe Blessed, on 16 August 2011 - 02:25 PM, said:

Assalamualaikum

Thank you Sarahpatchkids and Ghazala for yourfeedback.
And indeed, I missed out to compliment Susan19 for her nice replies.

I apologise if my views 'about women going to Masjid' are offending.
Although I still hold my ground, I too am a man of limited knowledge and I may be wrong as well.
May Allah guide me if I am wrong.

The last thing i want is to drag you all into an argument that has no end.
Surely, this topic has been debated for since ages, by men of better understanding and knowledge than us and till date, there is no clear conclusion.
Lets not fall prey to the time wasting tactic of Shaitan.

I respect what you have said. If you may further want to discuss this issue, lets open a new thread.
Lets stick to the topic here and not deviate from the issues faced by Needhelp.

Coming back to the topic, Sarahpatchkids, the conversations that Needhelp mentioned about, are useless worldly talks.
I dont think you can compare them with the different types of Ibadahs that you have mentioned in your post.

Imagine being in a court of a great king, would you gather your friends into a group and talk about family issues?
Or would you rather try to do something that pleases the king?

And Allah is the King of all mankind and Jinn, Heavens and the Earth and everything in between.
He is all seeing, all hearing and all knowing.

The house of Allah deserves some respect, and if we fail to differentiate it from other places of gathering, we are not doing justice to it. rather to ourselves.
Lets stick to Ibadah in Masjid and do what pleases Allah, the Master of the Universe and beyond.

May all praise be to Allah.
Assalamualaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu.


Sahih Bukhari Volume 1, Book 8, Number 368 :

Narrated by 'Aisha

Allah's Apostle used to offer the Fajr prayer and some believing women covered with their veiling sheets used to attend the Fajr prayer with him and then they would return to their homes unrecognized .





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