10 replies to this topic

[Abu Muhammad]

Make Istikhara.

[Salaam]

Abu Muhammad, on 03 February 2012 - 10:30 AM, said:

Make Istikhara.

[ghazala]

As salamualikum ,

My dearest guest,

Its really sweet of you for the way you think Alhamdulillah ... but sis remember things are not as they seem they can be or would be ... so please think genuinely and seek Allah's counsel (isteykhara ) and come to any conclusion ... inshaAllah May what ever happen after that is for your khayr ameen

well the sisters above have already kept an insight of what all you can think of inshaAllah ... so it would be good if you calculate all those points in ur mind and come to an conclusion .

And i dont think age is of any matter when it comes to marriages sis ... coz Allah (swt) knows the best what is the time and age to get married inshaAllah ...
its not about being younger or older its just about ur deen and affinity to be binded in a relationship... khayr

May whatever happens is for your good and the other sisters good too inshaAllah .

with regards,
Abd Allah,
Ghazala (A sis from ummah).

[ghazala]

When we engage in illegitimate relationships outside of marriage, we unconsciously serve & obey the shaitan and disobey ALLAH Sub'haana Wa Ta'ala, our Creator, our Protector, our Cherisher & Sustainer, The Only One worthy of worship. If you love someone, please either get married asap, or leave them alone, because if you really love him/her that much, you won't help them earn ALLAH Sub'haana Wa Ta'ala's anger & wrath and possibly be destined to the fire of hell. May ALLAH Sub'haana Wa Ta'ala protect all of us.

Aameen.

[Salaam]

They committed zina, then they repented and got married, but she is sure that they will be punished and their children will be deformed

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I have a friend who got to know a man 6 years ago. Praise be to Allaah, they have got married, but before that they committed zina. My friend deeply regrets what she did, she weeps night and day and offers all the prayers and prays for forgiveness every day. After getting married, they went for ‘Umrah and they intend to do Hajj, but her husband wants children and she is afraid that she will produce a deformed child as a punishment from Allaah. She says that the one who commits zina will be punished in this world and in the Hereafter even if he or she repents. Is this true? Will they go to Hell?.
Praise be to Allaah.
We praise Allaah for having enabled them to repent, and we ask Him to reward them and make them steadfast. Undoubtedly the immoral actions that they committed are causes of Allaah’s punishment in this world and in the Hereafter, but there is the hope that sincere repentance from this action, regret for what was done, resolve not to do it again, and weeping for having sinned against Allaah and violated the sanctity of the Muslims will all be good for this repentant person and will be the cause of his or her bad deeds being turned to good deeds.
This sister’s repentance should not lead her to despair of the mercy of Allaah, for the Shaytaan will exploit this and will prevent her from repenting and doing good deeds.
It is good that she regrets what she did and weeps and repents and prays for forgiveness, out of recognition of the seriousness of the sin that she and her husband committed. But it is not good for her to despair of the mercy of Allaah and think badly of Him, may He be exalted.
Our Lord has told us that He forgives all sins, no matter how great they are or how many, if we repent to Him, and He has forbidden us to despair of His mercy, as He says (interpretation of the meaning):

“Say: O ‘Ibaadi (My slaves) who have transgressed against themselves (by committing evil deeds and sins)! Despair not of the Mercy of Allaah, verily, Allaah forgives all sins. Truly, He is Oft‑Forgiving, Most Merciful”

[al-Zumar 39:53]
And He has told us that He will turn evil deeds to good deeds for the one who is sincere in his repentance, even if he has committed shirk and murder and zina, which are the gravest of sins. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“And those who invoke not any other ilaah (god) along with Allaah, nor kill such person as Allaah has forbidden, except for just cause, nor commit illegal sexual intercourse -- and whoever does this shall receive the punishment.
69. The torment will be doubled to him on the Day of Resurrection, and he will abide therein in disgrace;
70. Except those who repent and believe (in Islamic Monotheism), and do righteous deeds; for those, Allaah will change their sins into good deeds, and Allaah is Oft‑Forgiving, Most Merciful”
[al-Furqaan 25:68-70]
Our Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) told us that Allaah rejoices over the repentance of His slave and that the one who repents from sin is like one who did not sin.
Hence we can see that it is wrong to say that the one who commits zina will be punished in this world and in the Hereafter even if he repents. The evidence quoted above proves that this idea is false. Rather Allaah encourages His slaves to repent and rewards them for it if they do it; He does not punish them.
So there is no need to fear having children and no need to be anxious.
Ask Allaah for righteous children, and seek the help of your Lord, and do many good deeds. We ask Allaah to help you to do that which pleases Him.
And Allaah knows best.
Islam Q&A

[neelu]

If these two didn't commit adultery, then I don't think a fatwa regarding adultery is applicable here- even though I think their relationship sounds very inappropriate and I totally agree with Bubbly's post. I don't like the way any of this situation sounds. Where is your family in all of this? Who is your wali (male guardian) and what is his view? You cannot get married without the consent of a wali so his input is vital.

I get the strong impression that you've let your emotions override better judgement. The guy didn't get what he wanted in life as far as he's told you because he says his family imposed this first wife on him so he may feel he's lacking that emotional connection and companionship with a woman (I get the impression you're a respectable sister so this probably is not about sex or lust for you but that doesn't mean forming this sort of connection is okay either)- so he's trying to get that from you. You're not his wife, he shouldn't be looking to another woman to satisfy that need whilst he's still married regardless of what his parents did. If he had any self respect as a Muslim and cared about your honour and being fair then he would make an effort to find out who your wali is and approach him to ask for your hand in marriage- not seek emotional fulfilment from another woman during his marriage.

How would you feel if he married you and then after a while he decides you don't connect in the same way as before so he tries to connect with another woman. Would you be happy for him to marry again and think that is fair? Do you honestly think that would never happen to you (it's happened once already hasn't it)? Or maybe you think you'd be more devoted to his needs and giving him time but if your dream is right and you go on to have a baby then that time will be divided and you'd be sluggish from lack of sleep and a whole load of other things going on. And as someone else has already pointed out, if he couldn't stand up to his family when it came to marrying someone he'd really want as a first wife, what makes you think he'd stand up to them in fighting to make you his second wife.

[ghazala]

Salaam, on 06 February 2012 - 08:26 PM, said:

They committed zina, then they repented and got married, but she is sure that they will be punished and their children will be deformed

|

I have a friend who got to know a man 6 years ago. Praise be to Allaah, they have got married, but before that they committed zina. My friend deeply regrets what she did, she weeps night and day and offers all the prayers and prays for forgiveness every day. After getting married, they went for ‘Umrah and they intend to do Hajj, but her husband wants children and she is afraid that she will produce a deformed child as a punishment from Allaah. She says that the one who commits zina will be punished in this world and in the Hereafter even if he or she repents. Is this true? Will they go to Hell?.
Praise be to Allaah.
We praise Allaah for having enabled them to repent, and we ask Him to reward them and make them steadfast. Undoubtedly the immoral actions that they committed are causes of Allaah’s punishment in this world and in the Hereafter, but there is the hope that sincere repentance from this action, regret for what was done, resolve not to do it again, and weeping for having sinned against Allaah and violated the sanctity of the Muslims will all be good for this repentant person and will be the cause of his or her bad deeds being turned to good deeds.
This sister’s repentance should not lead her to despair of the mercy of Allaah, for the Shaytaan will exploit this and will prevent her from repenting and doing good deeds.
It is good that she regrets what she did and weeps and repents and prays for forgiveness, out of recognition of the seriousness of the sin that she and her husband committed. But it is not good for her to despair of the mercy of Allaah and think badly of Him, may He be exalted.
Our Lord has told us that He forgives all sins, no matter how great they are or how many, if we repent to Him, and He has forbidden us to despair of His mercy, as He says (interpretation of the meaning):

“Say: O ‘Ibaadi (My slaves) who have transgressed against themselves (by committing evil deeds and sins)! Despair not of the Mercy of Allaah, verily, Allaah forgives all sins. Truly, He is Oft‑Forgiving, Most Merciful”

[al-Zumar 39:53]
And He has told us that He will turn evil deeds to good deeds for the one who is sincere in his repentance, even if he has committed shirk and murder and zina, which are the gravest of sins. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“And those who invoke not any other ilaah (god) along with Allaah, nor kill such person as Allaah has forbidden, except for just cause, nor commit illegal sexual intercourse -- and whoever does this shall receive the punishment.
69. The torment will be doubled to him on the Day of Resurrection, and he will abide therein in disgrace;
70. Except those who repent and believe (in Islamic Monotheism), and do righteous deeds; for those, Allaah will change their sins into good deeds, and Allaah is Oft‑Forgiving, Most Merciful”
[al-Furqaan 25:68-70]
Our Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) told us that Allaah rejoices over the repentance of His slave and that the one who repents from sin is like one who did not sin.
Hence we can see that it is wrong to say that the one who commits zina will be punished in this world and in the Hereafter even if he repents. The evidence quoted above proves that this idea is false. Rather Allaah encourages His slaves to repent and rewards them for it if they do it; He does not punish them.
So there is no need to fear having children and no need to be anxious.
Ask Allaah for righteous children, and seek the help of your Lord, and do many good deeds. We ask Allaah to help you to do that which pleases Him.
And Allaah knows best.
Islam Q&A

brother salaam i would request you that do not point on the things that are not asked about inshaAllah ! if u did want to tell about this factor then u could just make a reminder note ... inshaAllah ! hope you understand ... she is here for our help or suggestion alhamdulillah ... lets concentrate on that inshaAllah ...

And Alhamdulillah sis neelus post is very relevent subhanAllah! may Allah bless you sis ameen

and Also, jazakumAllahu khayran for the guest who are trying to help the sister with there suggestions alhamdulillah ...

May Allah bless you all for the way your trying to help our dear sister in islam ...

Sister Complected guest - please kindly do let us know as to what you are thinking as of now and do u really think that our efforts are going in the correct direction inshaAllah! and do not worry inshaAllah ! we all want good for u inshaAllah

Coz if we help you Allah will surly help us in our affairs inshaAllah

and please feel free

May Allah bless you with the correct knowledge ameen ...