[Kat]

Salaams All

Something which i saw today made me write this poem, its amazing how the face is the insight into a persons heart and thoughts regarding happyness and sadness. Enjoy and please make dua for such people.

It should be the happiest day of her life
When she becomes someones wife
Dressed in red
Bride to be
For everyone to compliment and see

But
She looks so sad
Despite the make up
She looks condemned
Eyes so far away in a distant place
As if shes attending her own funeral

She is so lovely
Pretty, smart and educated

But sadly
Arranged to marry a stranger
By her father
Rather
Than a man of her choice
She is from the Liberal west
But she has no voice

Family in the past they are still stuck
Deals are struck
Land and money is traded
Sons and daughters sold into virtual slavery
The curse of the red passport
Claims another innocent victim

Culture clash
Recipe for disaster
Women who dont obey the master
Get mentally abused and physically bashed
Divorce not an option
Family honour maintained at any cost

Depression
Suicidal thoughts
Overdose on pills
The sad reality
Most think it
Few could go through with it

Kids come in quick succession
Divorce option
Severely restricted
No way out
Accept your fate
Learn to live with it

Old before your time
Education and talent wasted
Not appreciated or respected

Total defeat and surrender
I respect you for compliance
And respecting your parents wishes
Most choose love over arranged
Must be deranged
Divorce and adultery stats are worse
Marriage seems like a curse

Keep on praying for strength and resolve
Only Allah can help
And send a saviour
To rescue and save you
The Reluctant bride

Author: Showkotali@hotmail.com

I thank Allah for giving me the creativity to express life and situations poetically, Alhamdulilah hi Rabil Alamen

[unknown]

salaam

:jazakAllah: for the post bro. u got sum hevi talent mashallah!!! :thumbsup:

wel wat can i say. all that is cultural CRAP!!! n stupid peopl out der fink that it has sumfin 2do wif religion. n der sum parents out der yeh wich i think need to b shot plain n simpl. they dnt even kno that they r destroyin their own kids by forcin them to marry sum1 that they dnt want to marry.n for thos men that marry sistrs n kno that they dnt actually wanna get marid to him.....wel how low r they???

May Allah swt help thos in need n may Allah swt hav mercy on thos r unable to b freed. Ameen

[-tawakkul-]

Mashallah, that was good. so true as well. I pray Allah helps such sisters and guides their parents. Inshallah.

[Umm Hidayah_88]

Mashallah that was wiked! Again like bro unknown said everything has got to do with culture, yet again! Wallahi day by day i hate all this cultural crap! Non muslims judge muslims because of this, plus its not only sisters that go through this, subhanallah you may not believe me but i know some brothers that have to deal with this too- meaning the arranged marriages! Also nowadays its like the parents have got a mind of their own, not caring about the needs of their children, which i think is kufr! I make dua that Allah makes the parents realise what they are doing and thinking is wrong- {its up to us to change their mentality by explaining the real beauty of marriage in islam, and the rights of the children} Also inshallah i pray that Allah guides the Ummah, blesses us all with a pious and virtuous partner inshallah!

[unknown]

wel i hav a male frend who was forcd to get marid.....but i dnt get it. i mean i undrstand dat its harder for women to say 'no', but y isda guy bein forced....i mean like he has the ability to say 'no', unlike many women. wats gna hapen to da guy.....wat hes gna get kickd out? he can look afta himslf!! he shudnt b wif his parents if dey r forcin him to marry sum1 he dnt wanna marry. i fink he has da right to leav.

n da worst fing is yeh, dat he mixes wif another grl who wasd forced to get marid aswel(long story). but u c, as its written inda poem, it forces peopl to commit adultry(even tho no1 can b forced to do that realy, its ones own choice.....)

This post has been edited by the_unknown: 08 October 2006 - 02:22 AM

[Jabeen]

salam,

must say, this culture stuff yeh, i mean, in islam forced marriages are not practised. Culture is just getting crazy , i mean, your not allowed to love marriage, many women are not allowed to work or drive, and just other stupid rules that go against islam.

[Kat]

Salaams

These arranged / forced and coerced marriages are being associated with Islam by the non-Muslim politicians to show how backward Islam is, when it is man made culture and traditions which are backwards.

[Shifa]

It is vital that Muslims and non Muslims alike learn to discern between the religious guidance and cultural dictation in the guise of religion. It is our duty as members of the Prophet's Ummah to uphold the sanctity of marriage and defend it against unfounded accusations and misguided beliefs. We need to be active in reading and interpreting the real instruction of marriage as is in the Holy Quran and follow it to the letter to avoid such cultural impositions which lead to the emotional bankruptcy as expressed in the vivid poem above.
May Allah SWT grant us all the tawfiq and the ilm to discern right from wrong and to say ‘no’ when we believe it to be in accordance with His teachings.

[pricey~]

Salaamu Alaykum... none can truly know what goes through the mind of a bride simply thinking she wants it... but knowing her heart does not.

[murissa]

a really beautiful poem bro/ and hey coming from a brotha mashAllah.
may Allah SWT help all our sisters and brothers in such situations/ may He SWT protect them and guide their parents. Ameen!!!

Was Salaam

[pricey~]

Br. Kat, did you actually speak to her/someone she knew or just thought about how she must be feeling?

[Ikhlaas]

Salaam

Excellent poem, but i'd like to point out forced/coerced marriages are haram in Islam but there is nothing wrong with arranged, infact arranged is probably more practical for Muslims - we are not permitted to mix freely and give ourselves the opportunity to develop feelings for someone in the first place. If it happens, it happens. and it is a shame our parents cannot be more understanding under these circumstances.

But i dont know, despite my frustration at their ignorance, I actually feel sorry for some- many a times theyre also 'between a rock and a hard place' - if they do not give away their daughter or son to a particular relative, these parents are shunned by the rest of the family and theres all that family vendetta business. I know that is no excuse for force as it is unforgivable. And i admire those kids who do so to keep their parents happiness.

We can only do dua to Allah swt to change the mentality of our parents, and to grant us pious partners, of this life and the next.

[Kat]

Walaykum salaams and jzk for the kind words.

The poem is based upon what I have seen and also discussions with people who have been forced to marry via emotional blackmail and in some cases the use of black magic and mind control substances.

Yes, agreed that arranged marriages are in fact halal, but sadly arranged nowadays means its been arranged that your marrying X person and u have to accept the decision of your elders.

It is hard for people especially girls and in some cases boys to go against their parents wishes, but by making a stand u make our parents think at least as opposed to keeping silent which leads them to think that this practice is Islamic and allowed.

[Kat]

Since December has been a busy month for new members i thought i would bring this poem to their attention, especially the sisters.